a peek into my thoughts.

It's been a good, but interesting weekend. Our friends, mike and emily, became an aunt and uncle this weekend! Very early Sunday morning mike's twin brother and his wife gave birth to Haley camp. She was 4 days over due! I forgot how tiny newborns are! It was a weird experience for me to go back to that hospital. The last time we were there was when we took Micah home! Brian and I definitely had some anxiety about going back there. She had such a different pregnancy and birth experience than I did. I was very happy for her, but kind of sad and jealous for me too. Because Micah was my first baby I had no idea what to expect. I think this made being seperated from him easier. Erin had her baby with her in her hospital room, and no iv in her when I went to visit her just 8 hours after birth. She had showered and was up and moving already too! I didn't realize that was normal. I kept saying, "you get to keep her here? With you?" this was definitely a striking contrast between my experience and hers. At the time I didn't realize how bad micah's birth really was. It was hard on all of us. I'm not saying this to be mopey about it, but since we don't hve to cope with it anymore I have time to process it all a little more . I just feel a little bit like I got robbed of my baby time a little bit. He spent the first 6 weeks in the nicu and his birthday is 2 months earlier than it should be or could have been. I know these feelings are coming to the surface because we are quickly approaching micah's first birthday. So, I have been thinking a lot lately. I didn't intend for this to take such a depressing turn, but this subject has been on my mind a lot lately. Not in the sad way that this sounds like, but in a "huh. Something to think about." kind of way

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