Wednesday, September 2, 2009
I'm wondering.
I'm wondering if I will ever not be jealous of my friends that have normal pregnancies and normal deliveries. I don't think that jealousy is ever going to go away. I'm sad that I didn't get to see Micah until he was 36 hours old. I'm sad I didn't get to hear his first cry, change his first diaper, or feed him his first bottle. Yes, there were the first times that I got to do those things, but still. I don't know if that will ever go away. The three times over the last year that I've seen the sweet new family pictures with the dad holding the newly swaddled baby next to mom's face I am SO jealous. Maybe if I get to have a normal, full term baby next time around those feelings will ease a little bit. I sure hope they do.
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2 comments:
I had delivery problems with my first baby and while I didn't have to wait 36 hours, I didn't even get to hold her before they whisked her away. The nurses gave her her first meal, changed her first diaper, just everything... so I can sooo sympathize.
I *just* had my second baby 3 weeks ago, and this time I got to do all the "firsts." Did it ease the jealousy? A little... but truthfully I then had to deal with this insane inner guilt because I hadn't been able to do it with the first baby... I almost felt like I was betraying her.
However, the "first" picture of her and her new baby brother... totally made up for everything. I so hope that you get that experience. I really do. *hugs*
You're lucky you left the hospital with a living baby. Mine was stillborn at 40 weeks. Stop complaining.
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